Konoha's Next Top Model
by Mini-Chobi
Summary: A Konoha version of America's Next Top Model! And Ino, Sakura, Tenten and Hinata are entering! Who will win the honour of being... the next, top, model?
1. Chapter 1

"Oh yeah! Konoha's Next Top Model, here I come!"

Ino, Sakura, Tenten and Hinata had just got summoned to the Hokage's office, and given a new mission. The mission? Four of the contestants for Konoha's Next Top Model had suddenly dropped out because of some weird accident, (you make up your own) and the four mentioned girls were to fill in for them. The person that just shouted was... Ino.

"In your dreams, Ino-pig!" said an equally-excited Sakura. "I'm going to win! Over you three, AND all the other contestants!"

"Yeah, right, Forehead girl," Ino smirked. "I'm TOTALLY going to win!"

"Hey, what about me?" asked Tenten huffily. "I have a chance to win too, you know!"

Ino and Sakura looked at one another and burst out laughing. Both knew what the other was thinking. If Ino and Sakura were there, Tenten didn't stand a chance. To them anyway. (how mean... Tenten's beautiful too...)

"W-what if we d-do win?" stuttered Hinata, who wasn't exactly as enthusiastic as the others. "We w-won't be forced to work as m-models, will we?"

"Of-course not," replied Tsunade. "You'll just get a small group of ranbid fanboys and an occasional photo-shoot or something. Very avoidable."

Hinata had her doubts.

"When does the mission start? Should we go pack now?" asked Ino excitedly.

Tsunade nodded. "Go on now."

Ino, Sakura and Tenten rushed outside, sprinting to their houses to pack. Hinata, however, took turtle steps towards the Hyuuga complex, wondering what her paranoid father would say when he heard about her new mission. What would win? Hiashi's firm belief that ninja should complete their missions, or his equally firm belief that no-one should see Hinata in so much as a t-shirt and shorts? (wow... just imagine, for a moment, Hinata in t-shirt and shorts... weird mental image)

Apparently, as Hinata found out when she told her father, the latter lost to the former, and she would take part in the mission -but unless it was a swim-suit shot or something, she was required to wear ski pants and a parka at all times. (just kidding... Hinata-chan gets to wear what she wants)

:At Ino's:

The first thing Ino did after telling her parents, was not packing. However, she picked up the phone, and punched in one of her friend's number.

"Moshi moshi?"

"Hello, Shikamaru?"

"No, this is Yoshino speaking. Are you looking for Shikamaru, Ino-chan?"

"Yes."

"Wait one moment please."

"Thank you."

Ino fidgeted with the telephone cord, waiting for Shikamaru's mom to get the lazy bum over to the phone. Finally, after about 15 seconds, (surprisingly fast for our subject) there was a lazy drawl on the other end of the phone.

"Get to the point, Ino..."

"I'M A CONTESTANT FOR KONOHA'S NEXT TOP MODEL!" Ino shrieked into the phone.

There was a clang, a splash, a yelp, and a male voice yelling: "Holy shit!"

"Shikamaru?" asked Ino, considerably softer than before.

"Here, with a broken eardrum and very red toes," Shikamaru mumbled back. "Geez Ino, don't be so loud, you made me drop the phone and spill the cup of hot water I was holding. Now my clothes are soaked, my feet hurt like heck, and I look like I majorly wet my pants. Thanks a lot... mendokusai..."

"You told me to get to the point! So I just told you what I wanted to say!" Ino retorted innocently.

"I said get to the point, not the climate of your yelling abilities!"

"You're so grumpy! Aren't you even happy for me?" asked Ino.

"Happy? I spilledboiling water over myself and you think I'd be HAPPY!" Shikamaru groaned.

"I -ugh! You're impossible Nara Shikamaru!"

"Thank you. Good-bye!"

"Wait! What-!"

The line went dead. Shikamaru had hung up. Fuming, Ino put her phone back on the reciever. She was going to phone Chouji, but her good mood was now ruined. Thanks to Shikamaru.

"I'll just go pack now..." Ino mumbled.

:At Sakura's:

"Oh! And this would look nice too!" giggled Sakura as she put yet another (rather short) mini-skirt into her luggage bag.

The moment Sakura had gotten home, she had dashed to her room, hauled out her suitcase, practically dumped out her entire wardrobe, and began picking out clothes to pack. All the clothes she had packed were rather... short, for lack of a better word. But, hey. This was _modeling_, hello! In Sakura's point-of-view, modeling was really another term for: _Show off the Bod for Sasuke._

When Sakura had finished cramming every 6 inch mini-skirt, halter top, tube top, short-short, and sexy article of clotheing she could into her suitcase, she began packing thedaily materials. (toothpast, toothbrush, hair brush, cosmetics... etc etc) This was one mission she was going to love!

When she was finished, she pranced over to the phone, and giddily pressed in the Uchiha prodigy's number. The phone rang 6 times, and the answering machine came up.

_Hello, this is Uchiha Sasuke._ _I have not answered because I'm minding my own buisness -something you don't need to know about._said the message. _If you are a random caller, please hang up now. However, if you are Uzumaki Naruto, Haruno Sakura, Yamanka Ino or a fangirl of mine, please hang up now and never phonethis number again.You are annoying. Thank you._

Sakura frowned. Sasuke didn't say anything about leaving a message after the beep. That was strange, most people included that in their answering machine's message...

So, Sakura, being the goody-two-shoes girl she was, hung up, and went downstairs to eat something. Packing for a once-in-a-lifetime chance was really exhausting!

:At Tenten's:

"Neji? What are you doing here?" asked Tenten.

She had sprinted home to pack, but instead of her slippers, she finds Neji, thehandsome boy whom she admired so much,standing at the shoe rack, in_her_ personal slippers. What kind of joke was this?

"One, to annoy the heck out of you," began Neji. "Two, to congratulate you on getting the mission. Hope you lose."

"Hope I lose! Here to annoy me!" Tenten's eyes were wide. "Which side of the bed did you wake up on today, Neji?"

"The left side," replied Neji. "Fate had somehow decided that the right side of my bed should be planted against the wall."

Tenten rolled her eyes. Neji and his fate!

"Cut the crap," mumbled Tenten. "How do you know about this? Why do you want me to lose?"

"Question 1: Shikamarutold me. Apparently, Ino got to her house before you could get to yours, and phoned Shikamaru about this. He wasn't very pleased with dropping the phone on his foot when Ino screamed it out at him," replied Neji. "Question 2: Then you won't have any weird fanboys and our team can train in peace," replied Neji.

"Since when has teeth pings, nice guy poses, green spandex suitsand speeches on youth been considered peace?" Tenten fired back, slightly amused at the funny mental image of Shikamaru dropping a phone on his foot. The Nara's phones were one of the heaviest phones in the village. (some people thought that Shikato used them for weights)

"Since these things have been compared toretarded fanboys mowing down the training area."

Neji had an answer to every single question, didn't he?

:At Hinata's:

Hinata looked at her suitcase. She had been home 5 minutes and already, her suitcase was full of neatly folded clothing and necessary, every day items. She didn't bring any make-up. Sakura, Ino and possibly Tenten would bring plenty new extras. Hinata had never really liked cosmetics in the first place. They covered you up and disguised you as another person...

But she was going modeling, and models, well. Models wore make-up. Models _modeled_ make-up. Cosmetics were essential in the modeling career -one of the many reasons Hinata didn't really like modeling. However, the thought of Naruto-kun seeing her in a swim suit or something as skimpy as that on KonohaKonnection (the TV channel) was exhilirating!

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哈哈! 你們都不明白我在寫什麽吧! 我爸爸買了一個寫字機... 會寫日文呢!

看看: ツ力マル (中文是"鹿丸"... 中文版的名子很怪啊... "鹿丸"是 "Shikamaru"... 真可憐... 變成一頭丸... 哈哈...)

哈哈... 很高興啊!

Haha! Yesss! (oh, by the way, the above passage was in Chinese. In case you don't know how to read it or it shows up all weird on your computer) My dad got a touch pad, and it can write Japanese too! Yay!

See: ツ力マル (That means Shikamaru...)

Hope you enjoyed this! I wrote this after watching America's Next Top Model... XP Read and Review peoples!


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you to ppl who reviewed! Reviews make me feel very happy. Yes... very happy indeed! So review after you read this, ppl! ...please? puppy eyes lol. Just R&R, k! Oh, and Emily... my anonymous reviewer... yes. I am Chinese. Hehe... I've got Kakashi Gaiden in Chinese... it's sooo cool! Obito goes 'splat' though... sniff**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Nor do I own Pantene Pro-V shampoo. But I use it. lol

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**

Ino, Sakura, Tenten and Hinata stood on the meeting grounds, some20 miles away from Konoha. It was their first day on Top Model, and they had found out there were 9 other contestants. (making up a total of 13 contestants for you people that are too lazy to do the math) 

The other wannabe-models stood talking to each other in tight packs of 3's. The model/judge/mentor person stood with her back to the contestants, talking to the manager.

Ino surveyed the competition while chatting to Tenten and Hinata about how lazy Shikamaru gets, how surprisingly annoying Neji can be, and how competitive Naruto and Kiba can get. There were 3 other blondes, 4 brunnetes, a girl with auburn hair, and one with... green hair. Very nice, if they were trying out for the wacko station. Then again, as Ino glanced at her best friend/rival, pink wasn't exactly too common either. Ino sighed a little, and tuned back in on Tenten's rant on Neji wearing her slippers the other day.

Sakura was also eyeing the other girls, sitting on her suitcase. Although she was talking on her cellphone to Lee, who had recently become one of her good friends, she wasn't paying too much attention. She could see that the four kunoichis weren't the only ones with fierce beauty. The three blondes were talking to one another, as were three of the brunnetes. The remaining brown-haired girl was gabbering away to the red head and green-haired girl, and they were all beautiful. Sakura frowned as she updated Lee on Naruto's new record of bowls of ramen eaten in 5 minutes. (25) Competition was BIG.

Tenten was getting rather nervous as she told Ino and Hinata about how hard it is to hit Neji now that he's mastered some new jutsu that allowed him to move even faster than Lee. The other 9 girls were clealy gossiping, their hair as shiny as clear water in the sunset. In fact, some of the highlights from one blonde's hair had made Tenten temporarily blind. Damn. Why didn't she buy that new Pantene Pro-V shampoo? She surveyed her own buns in a mirror. She should let it down for some of the shots. Besides, didn't they say that it was the clothes that frame the body, and the hair that framed the face? If her hair was up in buns all the time, it couldn't possibly frame ANYTHING.

Hinata wasn't feeling very competitive at ALL. As she giggled at Ino's exasperated expression when she started to tell them about how Shikamaru never listens to her, and how much Shikamaru annoys her now, being very troublesome even though he hates troublesome things himself, Hinata shyly looked around. The actual model was still talking to the manager, her straight brown hair catching the light as she occasionally moved her head. Hinata bit her bottom lip, twiddling her fingers. Right now, as she turned back to Ino, who was still complaining about Shikamaru, Hinata was seriously wishing her father had gone against this. She clearly wasn't confident enough! What if she stuttered on television? That would be so embarrassing!

After a little while, Sakura had finished her conversation with Lee, and had joined in on the other kunoichi's conversation. Finally, the model finished talking to the manager, and turned to the contestants. The 13 girls instantly grew silent, warily watching their role-model. (literally. If you get my drift)

The model smiled warmly at the contestants.

"Welcome to Konoha's Next Top Model!" said the model. "My name, as some of you may know, is Tanrei Shihan. Call me Shihan.

"There are 13 of you. You are beautiful, energetic, and most of all, I see that you all have potential. Model potential. I believe in all 13 of you young, lovely girls. Sadly, although all of you have the figure, smile and probablyeverything required for a model, only one of you will get the title, 'Top Model'.

"In the next 13 weeks, 12 of you leave, one every week. I'm sorry. But it has to happen. Now, how about some ice-breakers?"said Shihan.

The 13 girls nodded their heads, not really having a choice. Some of them were shuffling their feet, eyeing the camera that had been set up right before Shihan's speech.

"Great!" exclaimed Shihan. "Now, tell us your name, some background information, and a hobby."

Ino stepped up.

"My name is Yamanaka Ino. My family owns the flower shop, and my hobby is to chase Sasuke-kun around, although I've recently found out that bugging Shikamaru is also quite entertaining," said Ino. She stepped back to where her friends were. When she had said the last part about bothering Shikamaru, she noticed that one of the brunnetes had narrowed her eyes and glared at her.

As the green-haired girl stepped up, Sakura nudged Ino. Ino turned to her pink-haired friend, puzzled.

"Why did you blush when you said Shikamaru's name?" Sakura whispered.

Ino looked at her, a 'wtf' expressionon her face. "What do you mean, I blushed when I said 'Shikamaru'?" Ino whispered back.

"There you go again..." Sakura took out her pocket mirror, putting it up to Ino's face so Ino could see her own visage clearly. "Shikamaru..." Sakura whispered.

To Ino's shock, she noticed that her cheeks were tinted pink as soon as Sakura whispered 'Shikamaru'. Embarrassed, Ino pushed the mirror away, still blushing slightly, and told Sakura to shut up and listen to the girl with green hair.

"My name is Ryoku Shoku. My cousin, Ayame, opened the Ichiraku Ramen Shop with her father. I like reading and writing," said Shoku.

"Thank you, Shoku-chan," said Shihan. "Who's next?"

Sakura then introduced herself, saying pretty much the same things Ino said, except her family doesn't own a flower shop, and she doesn't bug Shikamaru, she teases Naruto instead.

Hinata told them that her cousin was Neji (obvious... the girl doesn't want people to know much about her, does she?) and that she liked cooking.

Tenten told them her name, that she had a 100 accuracy when it came to throwing things, and that she liked hanging out with her friends at the mall. (The other kunoichi could tell that Tenten was about to say something like training for a hobby, but Sakura had caught her eye and shook her head slightly... they were not to blow their cover!)

Turns out the blondes names were Touka, Kitai and Winly. The red-head was called Nina. Two of the brunnetes were twins, named Iku and Aku. The other two brunnetes were Teito and Ama. The one that glared at Ino was Ama, and what she had to say was quite interesting.

"Hello, my name is Obiro Ama. My mother is a medic-nin, although I would never dream of being a kunoichi, and... and I have a crush on Nara Shikamaru, along with my 5 best friends."

Ino, Sakura, Tenten and Hinata's eyes widened to the size of saucers. This girl was openly admitting to... well, the world, or whoever was watching Top Model, that she had a crush on the lazy, genius shadow-nin? And dragging 5 of her best friends along into this? What kind of ego does she have? Not an easily bruised one, that's for sure. Plus, what kind of name was... Ama?

----

Some 20 miles away, 8 teen boys were gawking at the tv screen, 'wtf' etched clearly across their faces. After a while, one of them spoke up.

"I never knew you had a fan club, Shikamaru..."

* * *

Dun dun dun duuuuun! Shikamaruhas fangirls in actual Naruto world! Or, well, my twisted version of it anyway. How will Ino react? Who are the 8 boys? What does Ama really mean? 

Read to find out. Rookie 9 guys plus the two from Team Gai. Bitch.

Oh, does anyone read author's notes? If you read my notes, write: "itai itai itai" in your review. I just want to see who actually reads author's notes. Yeah, I'm super random. I just had an idea when I got the idea for Konoha's Next Top Model, that Shikamaru would have a fangirl that was a contestant in Top Model. I like to experiment dangerously with reactions, and I intend on morphing Top Model into something even the people that are most familiar with America's Next Top Model will be like 'omg! wtf is happening?'. In other words. This will be...

**SUPER TWISTED!**

You might be wondering about the contestant's name's references to FMA. I was getting a major block for names. Even Ryoku Shoku is just 'green' in Japanese. Something along the lines of that, anyway. I really couldn't think of anything. Then I saw the cover for my FMA dvd, and I'm just like... hmmm... FMA... WINLY! NINA! And that, became the contestant's names.

p.s. I HATE TUCKER! Nina was sooo cute!


	3. Chapter 3

**Hi everyone! I'm back with more KNTM! Enjoy! In this chapter, you'll find out how Shikamaru takes the news! lol.**

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"I never knew you had a fanclub, Shikamaru..." 

Shikamaru glanced over at Naruto. "Didn't expect you to."

"Hey, so you mean you knew about this all along?" asked Kiba, a shocked expression on his face.

"And... you knew it all along, and never told me?" added Chouji. "I thought I was your best friend!"

Shikamaru sweat-dropped. "Of-course not! In case you haven't noticed, these fans are usually quite secretive. Chouji, don't be so sensitive. Of-course you're my best buddy."

"You call telling the world from the television set that she has a crush on you... _secretive_?" scoffed Shino. "What damage have you recieved to your head these past months?"

Everyone stared at Shino. Did he just say more than 10 words? What has the world come to!

Shino was getting uncomfortable. "What?" he asked.

Neji shook his head, and resumed the conversation. "I wonder who's her 5 best friends?"

"I don't want to know," muttered Shikamaru.

"Right you don't," smirked Naruto. "I'm betting a bowl of ramen that you're actually uber-excited to find out you aren't over-shadowed by Sasuke, Neji and I!"

"Sasuke and Neji I understand, but since when have you gotten a fanclub?" asked Shikamaru.

Naruto thought hard. "Umm... since I met Konohamaru, Moegi and Udon?" he said, a hopeful grin on his face.

"Baka," said Sasuke, bonking Naruto upside his head. "How are Konohamaru and Udon fangirls? Geez... you get stupider and stupider every passing day, Naruto."

"Excuse me, Sasuke-teme!"  
"You're excused."  
"...! That's not what I meant!"  
"It came out that way. You're excused anyway."  
"You-!"

"Oh please, just shut the hell up!" fired Neji. He turned to Lee. "You've been awfully silent, Lee. What's your opinion on this?"

Lee did not reply. His shoulders were slumped and he was facing the television.

"Lee?"

Lee turned with a grin that was a tad too big for his face."I congratulate you, Shikamaru! You have finally gotten some appeal!"

Shikamaru blinked. "That was rather... random, Lee."

"But I truly congratulate you!" Lee said happily. "I have always thought you were like me... with no chance whatsoever of a relationship! But you have proven yourself otherwise! I am so happy for you Shikamaru!"

Shikamaru's eye was twitching. "Pardon me? No chance whatsoever? What on earth are you talking about, Lee?"

Kiba grinned. "Oi, Shikamaru... admit it. We know you're whipped for Ino!"

Akamaru barked in agreement.

Shikamaru glared at Kiba. "Again... pardon me?"

Kiba's grin widened. "It's so obvious! You blush everytime we talk about her!"

Shikamaru was ready to punch Kiba's (and Lee's) face in. "Me? Blush? When? And of all people -the blonde banshee? What do you think I am, crazy?"

Kiba nodded.

"That's it!"

Eye twitching, Shikamaru leapt up and drew back his fist. Before he could make contact to Kiba's face with his knuckles, Chouji reached up and grabbed his wrist.

"Shikamaru! Your blood pressure!" he squeaked.

Shikamaru paused for a moment, then huffily sat down.

Beside him, Chouji was nervously gobbling down chips. Shikamaru's eyes narrowed. Nervous Chouji? Not a good sign... for Chouji though, of-course.

"Say, Chouji," started Shikamaru, his voice dripping with venom. "Did you happen to leak something out? Or was this just a crazy suspicion of yours?"

Chouji gulped. Shikamaru puts two and two together too well. Turning with a patronizing smile on his face, Chouji chuckled nervously at Shikamaru.

"O-of-course not..." he choked.

"Akimichi Chouji! I trusted you!"

"Honestly, Shikamaru! I never told them anything about you and Ino! I've only told them about Temari and how she really likes you! They made all the rest up! I have absolutely no idea how they came up with the fact that you liked Ino! Don't you think so, Shikamaru?"

And for the second time in under 5 minutes, Shikamaru's fist was ready to beat the shit out of the others.

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回到伊諾, 啊櫻, 天天和雛田去... (Returning to Ino, Sakura, Tenten and Hinata...)

* * *

"Alright, everyone!" said Shihan cheerfully. "Let's go to your new home as of today!" 

Ino, Sakura, Tenten and Hinata exchanged glances as they followed Shihan dragging their luggage. House of Top Model, meet its new inhabitants!

When it was time to choose the rooms,the four kunoichi stuck together and chose the Seasons Room. (I'm making up random themes) It represented them best anyway.The room had four corners. The Sping, Summer, Autumn and Winter corners.

Sakura's Spring Corner had a lush jade green colour on the wall, that faded into the Ino's Summer Corner's bright, bubbly orange, (1) that changed into Tenten's golden hazel Autumn Corner, which eventually lightened into Hinata's light (almost white) blue Winter Corner.

The bedding andother furniture like the bedside table and lamps matched the wall's colours, and the four-sectioned carpet did too. The door was positioned between the Summer and Autumn corners, and had a couple stairs leading down from it.

When they had finished packing, they each plopped down on their beds and sighed.

"Well," said Tenten.

"We're here," remarked Hinata, smiling.

"We're competing in Top Model," continued Ino.

"We'll be staying here," giggled Sakura.

They simutaneously sat up, and grinned.

"AND WE'RE GONNA WIN!" they screamed in unison.

Had you been stationed outside their room door, the giggles that erupted after that would prove themselves to be endless.

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(1) For people that are wondering why I didn't use yellow as the summer colour... sorry. Not yellow... I have something against the look of the word yellow... no offense to anyone, but it bothers me... O.O 

How was that? Yes, I know... pretty short! Oh well! Oh, BTW, I'm grounded so I'm using the computer secretly... the updates aren't going to be frequent. (hush hush)

-MC


	4. Chapter 4

HELLO! I'M SORRY I TOOK SO LONG! Um... yeah, anyway. I'm working on a story with my friend, TB. It's a fic where the Naruto ppl come to the real world, and attend a normal elementary school. Because they're missing out on 'the finer points of life'. Lol.

It's pretty random and really funny. TB's ideas are HILARIOUS. Mine are funny, sometimes, but TB's are better. My Little Pony boxers... omg...

But if you feel like reading it, you'll have to wait for a bit. It's still on paper. We've written chapters 2-5, but no chapter 1. Yes, I know we're pretty pathetic. But we're on a roll, so you 'll have to wait until we finish chapter... I dunno... 10? Maybe.

If you feel like reading about crossdressing, penis talk, people that take forever in the change room, a food fight and God (and us) knows what else, you'll love our story.

Side note for the story TB and I are working on: Sai and OOCness galore!

The story may be found in the future at the account, 'Mini-Chobi and Tidbits'. Right now, I've posted one random rant there to let people know we actually exist. Feel free to read it. A hair-raising question that no-one else I know has asked as of yet.

Another reason for the ridiculousy late updates: YOUTUBE! Kage(Kara)Mamo(ru), Fruits Basket, Chobits... must I list 'em all?

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"Why do we have to do this? I mean, really. We would have fanboys during this show, and as if that's not enough men, they shove this at us!" 

"You're sounding kinda like Shikamaru, Ino. Except you're ranting on men, not women."

"Tenten's right, Ino. But Ino's also right. We'll have enough people trying to get upskirts of us as is, why this too?"

"Sakura-chan, I-I think it's f-for moral su-support. See? I-it says so h-here at the t-top..."

"Moral support my ass, Hinata!"

"Aheh...heh..."

The story: They were all given a slip. They were asked to fill in a guy name. That guy would be coming to KNTM headquarters. He will be staying here as long as you.This means he is like a guardian/moral supporter. This man should meet three requirements:

1. He's not a saddo loser.  
2. He should be on relatively good terms with you.  
3. He can NOT be ugly as a butt.

Now they are sitting on the floor by Ino's bed.

"Well, I was going to put in Lee-san, but nooo! That stupid rules and regulations person refused after seeing a picture of him," said Sakura, crossing her legs on her bed. "Tsk, tsk. People nowadys. Don't they know that appearance is only skin-deep? Lee-san's the nicest person in the world."

"I know. The only person he's ever yelled at was that bitch Temari. He didn't even get mad when Sasuke used his move in the Chuunin exam," said Ino.

"Oh, you'll be seeing a lot of Temari, Ino," smirked Tenten. "Don't you notice that there's something between her and Shikamaru?"

"Who cares?" said Ino tightly. "A-as long as she doesn't come near me."

"Aw, come on," teased Sakura. "It's so obvious. You two are like an old married couple. Except you're young, you're not married yet, and you're not a couple... yet."

"Can we just figure out who to fill in the slip?" asked Ino. Master of changing subjects. "That's what important right now. We have to give these in tomorrow morning. We'll look really stupid if our slips are empty."

"True," mumbled Hinata.

The four lapsed into silence as they wrote down names.

"OK," said Sakura happily. "Name sharing time!"

The other three all gaped at her.

"What?" asked Sakura. "Ah well. I wrote down Sasuke."

"Like hell you're on good terms with my Sasuke-kun!" spat Ino.

"I so am!" replied Sakura. "I've written down his name and there isn't anything you can do to change that fact!"

"Oh really?" smirked Ino, reaching for some white-out that JUST SO HAPPENED to be on her bedside table.

"P-please... don't f-fight!"

"You've got to get over your stuttering, Hinata," remarked Tenten. "Anyway, she's right. He'll be coming anyway and you can both glomp him."

"Hmph! So who did YOU pick, Tenten?" Ino challenged.

Tenten mumbled something.

"Speak up," said Sakura.

Tenten mumbled a teeny bit louder.

"Go on, Tenten-chan," urged Hinata.

Tenten was still mumbling.

"Oh for God's sake Tenten-!" started Ino.

"NEJI!"

Silence.

"That's cool," said Sakura suddenly. "What about you, Ino?"

"Who do you think?" Ino asked back.

"Shikamaru?" suggested Hinata.

"No. Ibiki," said Ino sarcastically. "Of-course Shikamaru. He only barely passes the first and third requirements though."

"Yeah right, Ino," giggled Tenten. "Shikamaru, almost a saddo loser. Shikamaru, almost ugly as a butt? You've got to be kidding me."

"Tenten's right," agreed Sakura. "He's lazy, but he's a genius. His looks aren't awesome, but he's really nice to make up for it."

"Whatever," said Ino, rubbing the back of her neck with her hand. "So... Hinata. You?"

Hinata blushed, mumbling like Tenten did.

"Oh come on," laughed Tenten. "Don't mumble."

"Tenten, you hypocrite," scoffed Sakura. "Come on, Hinata. Don't be a mumbling idiot like Tenten was!"

"I resent that," mumbled Tenten.

Hinata was blushing red as she handed over the slip to Ino.

"Oh, I see..." smirked Ino.

"Who? I want to see!" said Sakura, crawling over and reading over Ino's shoulder.

Tenten also came.

"Who did you pick, Hinata?" said Tenten. "Oh, I see. Kiba! Not bad. He's pretty cute, and I've heard that he's pretty nice. He's hyperactive though, right, Hinata?"

Hinata laughed nervously.

"This will be insteresting," smiled Ino, "Sasuke, Shikamaru, Neji, and Kiba, enter the torture zone..."

* * *

With the guys, who were hanging around at theKorean BBQ place.

* * *

"You just HAD to tell Gaara, Kankurou, and Temari, didn't you, Naruto?" asked Shikamaru bitterly.

"So? I felt they should know," said Naruto simply.

"Well, I don't," snapped Shikamaru.

"Oh, Shika," Kiba butted in. "You can stop being self-concious now."

"You can stop calling me 'Shika' now."

"Don't be so angsty," said Sasuke. "Having fangirls aren't half-bad, you know."

"Really?" asked Chouji, obviously not comprehending.

"It's true," added Neji. "It actually helps you train your speed."

"I have Gai and Lee to help me with that," replied Shikamaru.

There was a pause.

"Sometimes, Shikamaru," Shino said, quirking an eyebrow. "I wonder if you're just quick-witted, leading people to think that you're a genius."

"But I'm actually not?"

Shino considered how to say it without emotionally scarring Shikamaru.

"My opinion," he finally said.

"Well, maybe," suggested Lee. "He's sort of like me. You know how Gai -ensei said I was a genius of hard work? Maybe Shikamaru's a genius of quick wits."

"Wow, thanks, Lee," said Shikamaru half-sarcastically. Is that possible?

"You're welcome," said Lee. Oblivious to Shikamaru's half-sarcasticness.

The rest snickered and turned back to Naruto and Chouji's tug-o-war over the last piece of meat.

* * *

Short? OK?Meh.

After a long long pause, I brought you another unbelievably short KNTM chapter!

Cheers!

-MC


	5. Chapter 5

aBS:DLFJA LWEUIsfEDFOJ ASdlFJ,qef sKQEHF W:DQ lgiwKDJwryiopu &( liwhrlp$wi!

Sorry. Had to get that out.

I AM SO SO SO SO SO HAPPY! (happy dance)

MY PIANO EXAMS ARE FINALLY OVER! MUAHAHA!

HARMONY 3, STUDIES BOOK AND REPERTOIRE GRADE 8, SIGHT READING MATERIAL, SCALES BOOK 8 AND EAR TESTS CAN BURN IN HEEEELLLLLL!

For those asking: Yes, it's sad, but it's true. Piano and Theory exams can be taken in the SUMMER. It's THAT SAD. I'm finally free now! I have wings! Look! (flys)

Mom: OI! Come back down to earth! You have to buy everything for school!

Oh right. That just shot a hole through my wings... (drops back down to earth) noooooooooo...

However, I am now able to write more and read more and watch more and play more and rest more and have more fun! So I'm going to!

The joys of freedom!

o-O-o

"Hello and welcome to Konoha's Next Top Model!" smiled Shihan. The camera was trained on her, with the girls in the background. "Today, we have a surprise event. Each model here has picked a male friend to come and support them in person.

"Of-course, the males will be sleeping in another house. We wouldn't want anything bad to happen now, do we?"

Shihan paused, smirking slyly and wiggling her eyebrows in the camera. Then she laughed.

"Alright! Without further adue, please welcome, the guys!" she said, stepping sideways off the screen and letting everyone see the contestants, who were dressed in two-piece bathing suits.

The girls waved at the camera. In the back row, from left to right, stood Shoku, Winly, Nina, Touka, Iku, Aku, and Kitai. In the front row from left to right stood Ama, Teito, Ino, Sakura, Hinata, and Tenten.

o-O-o  
With Naruto, Shino, Lee and Chouji  
o-O-o

"I wonder where Shikamaru, Kiba, Neji and Sasuke went," wondered Naruto randomly.

Shino, Lee and Chouji looked away from Shihan and the girls on the TV set and looked quizically at Naruto.

"Don't you know, Naruto?" asked Chouji.

"Of-course not," snapped Naruto, realizing that the three knew and he didn't, which made him feel stupid. "If I did, why would I be asking?"

"Well, Neji-san said that he had to go on a mission," said Lee.

Now Shino and Chouji were looking quizically at Lee.

"A mission?" asked Chouji. "But Shikamaru told me that he had to go to KNTM to morally support Ino, and that Neji and Kiba and Sasuke were going with him."

"That's what Kiba told me, except it was Hinata" said Shino.

"And also what Sasuke told _me_, except it was Sakura."

The four turned.

"Sai? What are you doing here, you asshole?" asked Naruto.

"To watch KNTM, dickless wonder," replied Sai, sitting down beside Chouji on the couch.

"Don't you have a TV or something?" asked Naruto.

"Don't you?"  
"Of-course I do, dumbass!"  
"Then why are you at Chouji's house watching TV as well?"  
"The more the merrier!"  
"Exactly."  
"...wha?"  
"The more the merrier, Naruto."  
"What?"

Sai sighed. (haha. sai sighed!)

"Nevermind..."

o-O-o  
And back at KNTM...  
o-O-o

Sasuke, Neji, Kiba, and Shikamaru walked in with 9 other guys. Presumably the other contestants 'males'. Well, all of them walked in, but Kiba rode in on Akamaru. As a uniform, they were all dressed in white T-shirts with KNTM in big black letters and a pair of dark blue jeans. All of the guys. Not just Kiba and Akamaru. But Akamaru didn't wear anything. Kiba did.

Anyway, they lined up in front of the girls and smiled. Or, well, some of them did.

"First, we have Ryoku Shounen-san, aniki of Ryoku Shoku-chan," said Shihan, stepping back into the screen and beside Shounen as the camera moved onto the two.

Like Shoku, Shounen had green hair, and blue eyes.

"Here," continued Shihan, moving in front of the next dude with the camera following her, "we have Erricu-san, childhood friend of Winly-chan." (Yes, it's Edward but his name's Erricu now. Like Eric but with a Japanese accent)

Winly waved at Erricu. Looking rather bored and with a forced smile on his face, Erricu glanced over at Winly with his hazel eyes and waved a little at both Winly and the camera. As soon as Shihan stepped in front of him, he was slouched, really really bored-looking. He even blew a bit of his golden bangs in an exasperated way, earning a glare from Winly's sharp blue eyes.

Ignoring Erricu and Winly, Shihan continued on introducing. When she saw the guy, she blanched a little, but soon recovered.

"Our nice young man here is Akito-kun. He's a friend of Nina-chan's."

Girls all over Konoha and Suna swooned. Did such a bishounen actually live in these parts? Akito-kun had... dark purple? Light purple? Amethyst? Lavender? It was hard to tell. His eyes seemed to change, never exactly the same shade, but always some type of violet.

Akito's hair was light blue. It looked so soft... so light... like clean, white snow with lots and lots of nice warm blue shadows. But... blue was a cool colour, right? How could it look warm? But no-one cared. They were either burning with jealousy or swooning. It didn't help that he was lean and muscled.

Akito smiled slightly, making a lot of girls in front of the TV squeal and giggle.

"Hello," he said in a smooth tenor voice, throughouly wooing every single girl/homosexual guy in front of the TV and unknowingly turning every guy/homosexual girl against him.

Shihan gave Akito a smile and hug which he returned, then moved entirely in front of him so that no-one could see him anymore from the cameras/TV sets and so that Akito got a nice Icha-Icha-Paradise-worthy view of her bust. A lot of screams came from households demanding that Shihan "that bitch" move from in front of "their" Akito-kun and stop shoving her chest in his face.

Of-course, it did no good, since Shihan was 20 miles out from Konoha and farther still from Suna.

o-O-o  
With the SandSibs  
o-O-o

"Temari get back on the couch!" whined Kankurou, throwing a pillow at the angry woman.

"GET AWAY FROM AKI-KUN!" was all Kankurou got in reply from his insane sister. "HE'S MINE AND NOT YOURS!"

"Actually, it's more likely he's Nina-san's," stated Gaara, who was lounging on the comfy chair and sipping some Pepsi.

Temari looked horrified.

"But Shihan said friend, right?"

Gaara shrugged and reclined more on his comfy chair. "Who knows if they're actually more than that?"

Temari screamed and hugged the television, which was now showing Touka's black-haired and dark green-eyed boyfriend, Ki.

"NOOOOOOO! AKI-KUN!"

She then proceeded to planting kisses on the screen and murmuring, "It's ok, Aki-kun... I'll save you from Nina-bitch... it's alright..."

Kankurou sighed.

"Stop making out with the screen already! Akito isn't even shown there anymore, you idiot!"

This time Kankurou threw Gaara's bottle of pepsi at Temari.

Gaara's eyes narrowed.

"Hey, I was still drinking that..."

"I'll get you a root beer float," sighed Kankurou, getting up to prepare the drink as Temari returned to the couch, wet from Pepsi and still going insane over Akito.

"Temari, away from the couch!" demanded Gaara, jerking up from his comfy chair. "You're all sticky and wet from the Pepsi!"

Like a robot following orders, Temari walked to the bathroom to take a shower, still whimpering about her Aki-kun.

Gaara relaxed and sat back in his comfy chair as Shihan introduced Iku and Aku's funky friends, Masao and Kazuo.

o-O-o  
KNTM  
o-O-o

"Here we have Ken-san," said Shihan. "He is a friend of Kitai-chan's."

Ken was a nice, innocent looking guy. His brown hair was a little disheveled, but he had a nice smile and round, light blue eyes. He had a round face, and all in all looked pretty friendly.

Shihan didn't spend much tmie on him, and moved over to Ama's friend. A tall, gangly teen with spiky black hair dyed silver, sharp amber eyes and a bit of a hooked nose, making him look like an eagle.

"This tall gentleman is called Sakata-san," Shihan explained. "He's one of Ama-chan's best friends."

Shikamaru's eyes snapped open. (he was dozing off in a standing position before) Best friend? Ama? Please, no... No. No. No!

Sasuke, Neji, Kiba, Ino, Sakura, Tenten, and Hinata seemed to have similiar thoughts. They turned to the distraught shadow-nin with raised eyebrows.

Shikamaru stiffened, then slipped back into his laid-back attitude. Must be mere coincidence. Has to be. 40 chance of it being that. Everything was alright, he wasn't being stalked by a gay man...

Shihan didn't take notice of anything. She moved on past Sakata to the next guy, a teen with brown eyes, dark brown hair, and nothing remarkable concerning looks to speak of.

"Shingo-san is Teito-chan's ototo."

You could really tell Shihan was trying to get onto the next guys.

Sasuke, Neji, Kiba, and Shikamaru.

She smiled and put an arm around Sasuke's shoulders, earning her boos and screams of 'GET AWAY FROM SASUKE-KUN!' from his fangirls from Konoha and Suna.

Oblivious of her declining popularity and the angry Sakura and Ino duo behind her, Shihan went on to introduce Sasuke.

"And I presume that you all know this hotty," she said, snuggling up closer to the scowling Uchiha. "The lone survivor of the Uchiha massacre, Konoha heart throb, and child prodigy, Uchiha Sasuke."

"Get off me, woman," was all she got from Sasuke.

Shihan ignored Sasuke and did nothing but launch into a detailed biography of Sasuke's life, ignoring the angry glares from Sakura and Ino and the restraining of the wild beasts from Tenten and Hinata.

Kiba turned to Neji.

"I never knew Shihan was a Sasuke fangirl, a slut, and a pretty boy sucker," he whispered.

"Live and learn, Inuzuka," muttered Neji, equally as disgusted. "Live and learn."

Shihan was about to go into Sasuke's first year in the Ninja Academy when the camera man middle-fingered her and silent-screamed at her to move on.

"...and you all know what happened after that!" Shihan finished, winking at the camera, hugging Sasuke 'bye', and preventing (more) embarrassment for herself.

However, pretty-boy fever didn't end there.

More shouts and screames came from girls all over Konoha.

"How could anyone not know Hyuuga Neji here?" Shihan was nearly suffocating Neji in a hug. "Although not as high-up in terms of popularity-"

"And I'd like to keep it that way, thank you," said Neji coldly. "Would you please get off me? It would be very much appreciated."

Shihan smiled at the camera.

"Of-course," she said, releasing the Hyuuga prodigy.

Behind them, Tenten was being refrained by Sakura and Hinata. They were stepping on her toes and holding Tenten's hands back from reaching up to the senbon she had used to secure her buns and throw them at Shihan. The senbon. Not her buns.

Tenten only calmed down when Shihan moved on from Neji in sheer fear and replaced would-be Neji with Kiba. Hinata bit her lip and stepped back, playing with her fingers at the sight of Shihan draping herself over Kiba.

"Inuzuka Kiba-kun," Shihan was saying, smiling broadly at the camera. "Minor chick-magnet, but cute nonetheless."

She gave Kiba a slight squeeze on his shoulders (which made quite some girls in Konoha roar with disaproval) and walked over to Shikamaru.

"Last, but not least, Nara Shikamaru-san. Genius and unofficial village strategist," Shihan wasn't glomping Shikamaru, but you could tell she still liked him. "Recently sent the media's tongue wagging at the fact of a highly secretive fanclub.

"And that's it! Today's challenge for the girls will be revealed when we come back after-"

"You neglected to say who summoned us here," Shikamaru suddenly interjected. "Did you forget?"

"..."

Everything paused. The other guys stared. The girls in front of TVs stopped hyperventilating. Shihan stopped. The camera-man's cig stopped burning. The tides stopped coming in and the world stopped turning-

Ok, no. It wasn't that bad, but you get the picture.

"...um, right," said Shihan sheepishly. "I forgot. Thank you so much, Shikamaru-san.

"Sasuke-kun is Sakura-san's childhood friend, Neji-kun is Tenten-san's friend, Kiba-kun is Hinata-chan's friend, and Shikamaru-san is Ino-san's childhood friend.

"We will now be taking a break, and after that will be the girls' test of skills."

The camera stopped recording and everyone relaxed and stretched. They started chatting with their friends.

"SASUKE-KUUUUN! INO-PIG GO AWAY!"  
"GET AWAY, FOREHEAD GIRL! SASUKE-KUUUUUUNN!"  
"Oh bother..."

As the two girls jostled over Sasuke, other conversations went on.

"Ano... Kiba-kun?"  
"Hinata! Hey! How are ya?"  
"G-good..."  
"What's wrong? Still a little shaken from Shihan?"  
"Y-yes..."  
"That's okay, it was pretty weird for me too."  
"I'm sorry I called you out so suddenly... I-I... we had to... so..."  
"Nah, it's okay, Hinata."  
"Heehee..."  
"So how has it been?"  
"B-been?"  
"How are you adjusting to a glamour-life?"  
"K-Kiba-kun!"  
"I'm just kidding, Hinata! I know you're not like that. You're innocent and shy and nice and anti-make up and a believer of natural beauty -which you have a lot of, by the way- and all around great young woman, okay? So don't worry."  
"..."  
"Hinata?"  
"Gomen, Kiba-kun... I'm not so used to being praised like that."  
"Oh."

"Tenten."  
"Hm?"  
"Don't 'hm' me, Tenten."  
"What do you want, Neji?"  
"Why'd you make ME come, of all people?"  
"Wow, aren't we so appreciative and subtle?"  
"Answer me, woman!"  
"I have a name, you know!"  
"Okay... answer me, Tenten!"  
"You were my teammate and they wouldn't let me bring Lee."  
"Nothing other than that?"  
"And our teamwork's pretty good as well. If something happened, you'd be a good candidate for solving the problem."  
"Damn you, woman..."  
"I HAVE A NAME!"  
"Tenten, right?"  
"Wow! You remembered! Jerk!"  
"I have a name too, Tenten. And it's not Jerk."  
"Oh, right, I remember now. IT'S JACK-ASS."

"Erricu! Long time no see, and you're as impatient as ever, huh?"  
"Shut up, Winly. I want to have some peace."  
"I don't KNOW how I could stand you all those years!"  
"Because you love me and you know it."  
-SLAP-

"Shounen-ni-san."  
"Imouto."  
"How are you?"  
"Good."  
"The ramen shop?"  
"Profitable."  
"Good."  
"Yeah."

"Hello, Nina."  
"Akito, hey! What's up!"  
"Oh, nothing. Hiding from fangirls again."  
"Nice!"  
"Very."  
"Sooo... sorry about calling you out here, but we had to, and I knew that you'd grab a few chicks this way!"  
"Nina..."  
"Fine, fine! I won't put it that way! Haha!"

"Iku!"  
"Aku!"  
"Masao!"  
"Kazuo!"  
-blabber between twins-  
(Yes, M and K are the Tachibana Twins from Captain Tsubasa. Just without the bunny teeth. God forbid the bunny teeth.)

"Hey, Ken."  
"Kit-san! Um... hey!"  
"What, you scared of me?"  
"N-no! Of-course not, just... you're hugging me... you're so close... your insanely huge boobs..."  
"You should be happy, lech. Just be glad I saved you from your insanely cute and violent gf."  
"Kit-san! Segawa isn't that bad!"  
"Protective lover-boy."  
"Kit-san..."  
-PUNCH-  
"Uwahhhh!"  
(Character based off of Kitsune and Keitaro from Love Hina.)

"Ama?"  
"Sakata, that's him!"  
"I know, isn't this exciting!"  
"Shikamaru-saaaan!"  
"Ama! No!"  
"Don't be so chicken! Shhhh!"  
"Er... you hollered?"  
"Shikamaru-san! This is Sakata!"  
"... I know."  
"H-h-h-h-hel-l-l-lo-lo, Shi-Shi-k-ka-ka-m-m-m-ma-ma-r-r-r-r-ru-ru... s-s-sa-san-san!"  
"...wha?"  
"He said 'hello, Shikamaru-san!'"  
"..."  
"He's your biggest fan, you know!"  
"Erm... thank you."  
"I-I k-k-kno-know EVERTHING. I know every single detail of all your missions! E-even th-the Sa-Sasuke retrieval! I memorized EVERY SINGLE STRATEGY you've ever come up with! You're so awesome, y-you know! I-I-I have a sh-shrine in my room d-dedicated to y-you! I know EXACTLY how many times you've cried in your entire life! When you were born, you cried once, because you only get born once, you know? And then, in your stay at the hospital you cried 2 times. After that, in your first year, you cried a total of 5 times-"  
"Ah... I think that Sasuke's suffocating, I'll go help him..."  
"O-ok! Talk to me again, al-alright? Bye Shikamaru-san! I'm sure you-you'll come up with a GREAT strategy to save Sasuke! I-I'll be cheering y-you on!"

"Shingo, you chibi!"  
"Teito, you smartass!"  
"How's your life?"  
"Since when did you care?"  
"Since when you started playing soccer and actually had a life."  
"Teito! You're so freakin' mean, you suck!"

"Touka-baby?"  
"Ki-kun!"  
"Hey, doing well?"  
"Yeah! I've made friends with the other blondes already. Hehe!"  
"That's great, baby."  
"So, what we doing tonight, Ki-kun?"  
"Whatever you want, babe."  
"You're in for a wild night then, sexy doll."

o-O-o

OMG I can't believe I just wrote all of that mushy love-bird stuff. Blehhh...

anyway, I'm thinking that this will probably be the longest chapter I ever wrote. Took me almost a week. I got writers block in the middle...

I'm sorry if the words run into each other or something, but I seriously have no mood or time to go over everything again...


	6. Chapter 6

**Who can get offended at a fat guy giving out free stuff!? -Foamy, _No Christmas For You

* * *

_**

**Disclaimer: I sure as hell don't own Nike or Naruto... not Foamy either, although Squirrely Wrath rules... and the commercials are based off of comedians. See if you can know which ones.**

**_

* * *

_**

**_COMMERCIAL ONE _**

-A woman with a black eye walks on the stage-

"I... smoke crack..." whispered the woman with a black eye. "And my husband... BEATS me..."

-A voice comes on-

"Got milk?"

**_COMMERCIAL TWO_**

-A man's face shows, and he points at the viewers-

"Now, every guy out there, watching this commercial... I BET... that more than XXX action... if you had a choice between XXX and this other thing... every guy watching this, would want, to have... A MONKEY! AN EVIL MONKEY!!"

("Yeah... that'd be cool," commented Gaara, sipping his root beer float while Kankurou settled himself on the couch)

"And SO! Since we know that you all would want a monkey, and you KNOW you want a monkey, COME DOWN to KONOHA MONKEY MANIA! We have tons of exotic breeds! It's the next generation of ninja helpers! MONKEYS ARE THE FUTURE!!

"We have branches in Sand and Boulder."

o-O-o  
KNTM  
o-O-o

"And!! We're BACK! At Konoha's Next Top Model!" screeched Shihan, giving the camera the curved eye smile. "And the contestants' challenge is UNVEILED!!"

Shihan stepped away, and in the background, a curtain fluttered down to the ground and showed the girls dressed in Nike attire standing by a climbing wall, looking rather confused as they were NOT filled in on the details.

"You guessed it! It's a test of both grace and skill! It's... modelling for Nike!

"Each of these girls and climbing up the wall -with the proper equipment provided by Nike, of-course! During their climb, our photographer will snap 4 pictures of them each, and then -well, you know the drill! We pick the best one, compare them, do another challenge, and then we see who gets kicked off on the first week next time!"

o-O-o  
Sai, Chouji, Naruto, Lee, and Shino  
o-O-o

"Wait... I don't get it," said Naruto, his brow furrowing. "Don't they usually do it the same week? It's an hour long episode, and I bet they can do everything."

"Not while they're on live, man-whore," grumbled Sai. "They need time to do all the digital editing and crap."

"They're on live!?" gasped Naruto.

Chouji, Sai, Lee, and Shino all turned to look at Naruto.

"No shit, Sherlock," they chorused. Yes, even Shino, even though that's a scary thought...

o-O-o  
KNTM  
o-O-o

"I'm so scared...!!" whispered Touka to Ino. Remember, she's made friends with all the blondes!

"I know what you mean," Ino whispered back. "It's going to be very embarrassing if you slip and fall. I mean, we're on live, you know..."

"No, it's not that," said Touka, biting her lip. "I'm afraid of heights!"

Ino stared.

"Um... well, best of luck to you..." she said, feeling sorry for the poor girl. "Why don't you tell Shihan, then?"

"Are you mad!?" seethed Touka. "If I do that, I'll automatically get booted off since I can't pull of this one! It's worth half the judging this week!"

"Well, try your best," said Ino, placing her hand on Touka's shoulder.

Touka nodded and hung her head in despair as Shoku began her climb.

o-O-o  
Gaara & Kankurou  
o-O-o

"Oh damn... that Shoku has a nice ass," commented Kankurou as Shoku stopped and smiled at the camera for her first picture.

"Kankurou, don't go all hentai on me," warned Gaara as he finished his root beer float.

"Well, she does," insisted Kankurou, mesmerized, as Shoku climbed up to another spot and had another picture taken.

Gaara rolled his eyes and shoved his cup at Kankurou.

"Go get me a Sprite."

o-O-o  
KNTM  
o-O-o

Shoku had finished her climb, descended, and Nina had donned the climbing equipment and was scaling the climbing wall, with Shihan commentating all the while.

Unfortunately, she was a bit nervous and forgot to let them take the pictures, so they ended up taking them when she was coming down...

Iku and Aku agreed to go at the same time, and seeing that they were twins, it was allowed. However, they were warned that if one got kicked off, the other would need to go with their twin.

They did splendid acrobatic stunts and had the camera person snapping away at them until they realized there were over 30 pictures and the card had run out of memory. Sadly, the camera person deleted all the pictures until he was left with only four of the best ones.

Teito, not to be out-done, did a one-person show of 'running vertically up the climbing wall and nearly falling flat on her arse after the first picture' and decided to play it safe after that.

Ama, of-course, had to be the diva bitch she was and climbed up the wall with ease, letting the camera person take pretty dang nice pictures of her. She was smirking when she returned to the ground, and flashed Shikamaru a million-watt grin... which would have had lots of effect, good or bad, if only Shikamaru wasn 't dozing off while Sakata, the gay man, tried to strike up a convo with the lazy nin. Angry, Ama directed her smile at Akito instead, and recieved a confused look in return.

Brightened by Ama's failure at being good with the guys, Sakura proceeded to climb the wall... and the camera man's nose began to bleed...

"Sasuke-kun! Are you watching?" cooed Sakura. Sasuke grimaced and sped off to the washroom.

"SAKURA!! STOP BEING SUCH A WHORE!" roared Ino, gripping Tenten's buns (her HAIR, perverts!! Not THOSE buns!!) for dear life.

"Let go of me Ino!" wailed Tenten, as the camera panned over to the dying-because-her-hair-was-being-pulled-out Tenten and dying-of-embarrassment-because-her-friend-was-being-really-sexy Ino.

Sakura stuck her tongue out as the camera went back to her and her Nike short-shorts and very, very tight t-shirt, and continued posing on the wall.

As Sakura continued climbing to find a new spot to show off in front of Sasuke, who had come back from the WC at JUST the wrong time, Tenten turned to Hinata while rubbing her sore head.

"Hey, Hinata... you're next," remarked Tenten. "You ready?"

"N-no..."

Tenten smiled and waved at one of the boys. Confused, he walked over, breaking off from his conversation with Neji... or well, stopped attempting to converse with Neji anyway.

"What is it?" asked Kiba, while Sakura giggled in glee, jumped off the climbing wall, took off the climbing gear, and glomped Sasuke.

Tenten jabbed her thumb at a very distraught-looking, paler-than-usual Hinata.

"Oh... um, good luck Hinata," said Kiba cheerfully.

Hinata turned, a forced smile on her face.

"Er... yeah..."

Then she hurried to the wall and started climbing it, pausing to smile nervously at the camera.

Tenten burst out laughing.

"WHAT!?" growled Kiba, scared that this girl a year older than her was so hysterical.

"Oh, it's so freakin' funny seeing how awkward you two are!" she giggled, thumping Kiba on the back. "Really! It's so obvious you like her, Kiba! Why don't you tell her already!! God knows she needs a confidence boost..."

"W-what are you talking about, Tenten-san!" huffed Kiba, patting Akamaru's head. "You hypocrite! What about Neji?"

Tenten shrugged, her face turning the same colour as her pale pink Nike shirt. Of-course it's a Nike shirt. What did you expect it to be? An AE shirt!? CRAZY!! YOU! CRAZY!!

"What _about_ Neji?"

"You blushed! You blushed!!" whispered Kiba, his pride restored as Hinata came jogging back.

"I-I did alright, I think!" Hinata gasped. "Tenten-chan! It's your turn!"

"Oh, er, right. Wish me luck!"

"Good luck Tenten-chan!" Hinata complied.

As Tenten climbed up the wall, posing, but not really being anything special, Hinata turned to Kiba.

"A-ano... Kiba-kun... what... what did Tenten-chan s-say?"

Kiba just lowered his head, looked stormy and refused to reply. This caused Hinata to blush and lower her head as well. It looked comical, with their two downcast faces on either side and Akamaru looking confused in the middle with a huge '?' on his head. (1)

Anyway, they were still like that when Tenten came back, and she enjoyed laughing at their expense, which just made Hinata blush MORE, and Kiba look even STORMIER, and Akamaru was still just freakin' confuzzled.

So then, it was Ino's turn, she made the camera guy's nose bleed, the hyopocrisy, blah blah, Touka, Kitai and WInly didn't do anything very INTERESTING either...

So all in all, that's all that REALLY happened there. NOTHING.

But ACTUALLY, Touka started bawling when she got 5 foot off the ground, confessed that she had a phobia of heights, and agreed to just grab onto the wall on the ground and have the camera person snap pictures of her face. Everyone in front of the TV had a good time laughing at her expense. But she doesn't know it... so that's okay.

"Alright! Now that our contestants have shot their glaMOURious pictures, we will proceed to the next challenge, right after these important messages from our sponsors!" said Shihan after the last girl was finished.

She then stepped away from the screen, and showed all the girls in all their Nike glory, waving enthusiastically at the camera. And then a huge, cheesy (brought to you in part by) Nike sign, complete with the swipe, appeared, and here we are, back at commercials.

**_COMMERCIAL 3_**

-Two guys are standing next to each other-

"Hey, which hotel are you staying at?" asked the one we shall henceforth call 'Bob'.

"Oh, man... I can't tell you which hotel I'm staying at... but it has, TWO TREES, involved," replied the other, and let's just call him Nick.

-canned laughter-

"Oh, you mean, THE DOUBLE TREE HOTEL?!" gasped Bob.

"Oh, of-COURSE not!" laughed Nick. "That's a HORRIBLE hotel! No, no, I'm staying at the QUADRUPLE TREE hotel!"

"But you said, it had TWO TREES in it!" said Bob, confused.

"Of-course it does! Two times two trees, EQUALS FOUR TREES!"

Bob and Nick laughed heartily and got champagne bottles out of nowhere, and a flashing logo bearing the title: QUADRUPLE TREE HOTEL!! appeared above their heads.

"QUADRUPLE TREE HOTEL! COME HERE AND SEE, JUST HOW MANY TREES!!"

o-O-o  
Sai, Chouji, Lee, Naruto, and Shino  
o-O-o

"That... is the most POINTLESS commercial I have seen in my LIFE," said Naruto, his eye twitching. "Not to mention that corny bit at the end..."

"For once, I agree with dickless here," said Sai, eating some popcorn while reclining on the armchair he had moved to.

"They never even did anything with the champagne bottles!" complained Chouji, reaching over to grab the popcorn and angrily pigging out. "What a waste!"

"Oh, the loss of youthfulness in the commercial these days... it is so VERY pitiful!" wailed Lee, covering his eyes.

Shino just shook his head and continued watching the next commercial.

**_COMMERCIAL 4_**

"Do you get annoyed by little kids who tell you knock knock jokes?" asked a man. The scene switched to a woman surrounded by a mob of little children yelling out various knock knock jokes. The scene switched back to the man.

"Not very funny, is it? Well now, with our glow in the dark, neon tags that yell their message out -literally- you won't have ANY trouble!" laughed the man, holding up a bunch of dog-tag shaped necklace pendants. "We can even PERSONALISE your tag! But here are the standards:

Piss off  
DO NOT DISTURB  
Go away  
No jokes  
(the middle finger)

"So now, HERE's what the scene would look like!" cheered the man, and the scene switched yet again to the woman. But now, the kids were keeping a far distance, and on her neck were an assortment of tags.

One kid cautiously walked up to her.

"Knock... knock...?" he tried nervously.

"READ THE SIGN, PUNK!" screeched the... tags. Yes, the TAGS, not the woman. Then the children screamed and scattered, running every which way.

"SO! IF YOU WANT TO KEEP LIL' KIDS AT BAY, TRY OUR TAGS!! SATISFACTION GUARANTEED!!" sang the guy over the kids' horrified yells.

o-O-o  
Gaara and Kankurou  
o-O-o

"That is most pointless product ever..." scowled Gaara as he sipped his Sprite.

"Yeah, who'd want a tag like that? I wouldn't take it even if it was for free," scoffed Kankurou, just to humour Gaara, although he wouldn't mind having kids avoid him. And then Kankurou laughed with his eyes closed for God knows what reasons. When he opened his eyes again, there was a half-empty Sprite can in his face.

"Get me some Dr. Pepper," growled Gaara."I don't like Sprite anymore. They say the recipe for it is lemon and lime... but I know there's more to it than that. I don't want anymore until I figure out what the fuck else is IN IT!!"

"...have you been listening to Mitch Hedberg, Gaara?" inquired Kankurou. "You know, I don't think he was REALLY talking about home-made Sprite... more like... you know... lemon and lime? Sprite? Not Sprite, Sprite, but sprite, Sprite?"

"GIMME SOME DR. PEPPER!!" screamed Gaara, oblivious to Kankurou's reasoning.

"Well, actually, Gaara, we don't HAVE Dr. Pepper," explained Kankurou, taking the Sprite can.

"GET ME SOMETHING!!" roared Gaara.

"Oh geez... Gaara, is this how you are when you're hyper?" asked Kankurou with a raised eyebrow.

Gaara then started laughing. Maniacally and sadistically. And we musn't forget diabolically.

"Okay, yeah, you're hyper!"

"What's going on?" said Temari, who had finished her shower and come in while drying her hair with a towel. "Did Gaara have too much sugar?"

"DAMN SOFT DRINKS TO HELL!" cried Kankurou, chucking the half-full Sprite can at Temari as Gaara continued to laugh.

"DAMN IT KANKUROU!! I'M COVERED IN SPRITE!! NOW I'LL HAVE TO TAKE A SHOWER!! _AGAIN_!!"

Gaara gasped for air, and then resumed his laughter.

* * *

**Now, what did you think of that? I know I made Gaara OOC at the end. But hey, EVERYONE gets OOC when they're hyper! But come to think of it, it might not be THAT off for Gaara to laugh maniacally.**

**REVIEW!! Or fear Foamy's SQUIRRELY WRATH!!**

**-MC**


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